Ah, Karen. Our reluctant beachside neighbor. A woman of routine, dedication, and an absolutely unwavering commitment to her tanning spot—our ceremony site.

If you’ve ever planned a wedding on the beach, you know there are challenges: unpredictable weather, the occasional rogue seagull, maybe even a drunk tourist who wanders into the background of your first kiss. But nothing, and I mean nothing, has been as consistent as Karen and her tanning spot.

Karen is a seasonal visitor, popping up a few times a year to soak up the sun in exactly the same spot—our prime wedding real estate. Every time she sees us rolling up with chairs, arches, and florals, she lets out a deep, soul-crushing sigh. The eye roll? Unmatched in intensity. I swear, if eye rolls could kill, I’d be writing this from beyond the grave.

The last time, as we arrived with all our wedding magic, Karen hit her breaking point. She looked up from her sun-soaked throne, took a deep breath, and said:

“You got to be f#$king kidding me.”

I mean, fair enough. We do tend to crash her peace and quiet with vows, love, and a steel pan playing “Can’t Help Falling in Love.” But in our defense, we were here first. Well, not in the literal sense, but in the this beach is for love, Karen sense.

And yet, despite her absolute disdain for our existence, Karen refuses to move. She stays—firm, committed, possibly out of pure spite—until the very last second, right before the wedding starts. We’ve had to set up around her, work with her, even dodge her sun-reflecting tanning oil as we prepare for someone’s most important day.

But somewhere along the way, an unexpected friendship formed. Maybe it was mutual respect. Maybe it was just exposure therapy. Maybe she finally accepted that we are not, in fact, going anywhere. Whatever it was, we made peace. Sort of. She still hates to see us coming, but now she tolerates us. We’ve even exchanged small talk. Progress.

So, until next time, Karen. We’ll be back. And so will you.

Love,
Your Least Favorite People on the Beach 💕